I have now finished my AS Level exams, I will be receiving my results sometime in the Summer. I now have three weeks at college which I will have to be using to prepare for next year. Apparently, I have to start thinking about university now. There also remains the task of choosing courses for next year. At the moment I’m expecting to carry on with all the courses I’m doing, but it does need prayer.

I really don’t know what I will be doing next year. I have absolutely no confidence in my planning ability for the future. God will have to do something pretty miraculous whatever happens, because I am stumped. The choice seems so vast. I’m not sure about any of the courses I wanted to study. Please pray that God would put the right choices on my heart.

On Friday the 22^nd I will be visiting Oxford with Emma and some other people in the College’s able and talented group. I found out today I will also be going to Mark, Jonathan and Alastair’s joint birthday party, which is also a leaving party for Jonathan and Monika, who are heading to Tenerife; and Henna, who is leaving for Aberdeen University. I had previously expected to be returning too late, but it turns out I will be back shortly after 7, leaving plenty of time.

I have started reading “The End of Poverty” by Jeffrey Sachs for my Geography course next year. I’ve never really read a book as part of any course before (except English of course), and it’s an interesting novelty. I feel like a real student or something.

I have a lot on my mind, and I am not doing the best spiritually either. Perhaps it is a good thing that now my greatest desire is to be holy, but it doesn’t feel like it. I suppose I can take comfort in:

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Because I no longer have a feeling of assurance. God’s Word is all the assurance we need, but on the other hand, it is nice not to doubt you are saved, but I know I do not seek the presence of God in vain. Even if my sin does stand in the way.

I have gone through such feelings many times, and come out stronger, but it is hard to see that. I know I have nothing to be depressed about, but depression can be a trial like any other, even in the absence of anything to actually be sad about. From an objective perspective, my life is fantastic.

I wanted to write about my birthday, I wanted to write about my trip to London, but that’s going to have to go on hold until Saturday. Right now though, I do think I have a bit of news that gives me good reason to post in the middle of the week.

I now have a girlfriend. Unfortunately, I do not have a particularly good picture of her, so for now you’ll have to make do with a picture I stole from her facebook site.

Her name is Emma, and she’s a wonderful Christian girl, I thank God he didn’t leave me alone until I told her I loved her.

Everybody hates me, nobody loves me etc.

I’m having a bit of a Germany flashback here. I want to go to a cool city (i.e. London), but most everybody is busy. T__T I’ve tried Joe West, Dave Heath, Jannais O’Flaherty and nobody, nobody is free. I’m determined that this will not turn into a repeat of my Heidelberg experience. I don’t want to repeatedly pester someone who I know is free to come down (that time it was Jessika).

I think the fact that cities are absolutely nil fun on your own is evident. If you want to come to London for two days (Friday and Saturday), and you reckon you have something like the same taste in museums and cultural sights as me, please tell me.

This would also be a good option if you want to see Ben and Liz Epps, because I’ll be staying with them overnight.

This is my birthday present from my parents, and it’s pretty much the most flippin’ awesome present ever given to me by a person. I wouldn’t want to waste it.

Update

This morning, I completed my application for TiM and Cumbria Christian Youth Camp.

I am planning to be an Assistant Tent Leader in Cumbria. I was very privileged to be invited by Rachel Stalker to the camp, and I’m looking forward to it. I am also really looking forward to TiM. I was originally thinking of going on TeenStreet, but I feel like some other people could benefit from that more. I already want to be a missionary, but I want to be a missionary now, so I strongly wanted to do some missionary work during the Summer. God’s certainly answered my prayers, and I have at least 3 weeks of mission work lined up ^__^. My holiday is a lot longer than 3 weeks though… Hmmm…

Last night Monika reinstated cake day, and we had a nice big angel food cake, full of gracefully whipped eggs. That was some cake, I tell you. The name really doesn’t appeal to me, aber es hat mir doch gut geschmeckt. We also watched Forrest Gump.

I was going to go Ice Skating this morning with Jonney and Monika, but I was sure I had other priorities that were mre important. I prayed about it, and thought a bit, then remembered I was visiting a lady to see about Russian Tuition. It was a blessing I remembered. That went well, and it inspired me to learn again, which my classes at SFC really hadn’t done.

God Bless, and I hope if you’re reading this you’re having a good day.

And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.

Matthew 18:9 (ESV)

Sloth

There are several things I’m planning on posting on:

OCD

Russian

Holderness